maybe

theres a reason why people do what they do to you.
maybe they are just sick of your pity story&how much you can't just be alone.
you say your this kinda person and stuff, but you arnt.
maybe we're just sick of your crap ?

i wish

i could freeze time.
just stop it for a week.
so i can pause the play and finish work.
relax a bit.
then continue so that i feel as if im back on track.
i feel like im behind&over worked.

day 30; your reflection in the mirror

i look at the mirror and i see a clueless girl with semi big eyes.
i wish my eyes were a bit bigger&prettier.
i see lips that look like they could be a black chicks (=
i see a body i dont like.
i see a hairstyle that im not satisfied.
i see a loser who always makes faces & poses at the mirror when home alone.
i see a retard who sometimes talks to the mirror.
i see a girl who is going to fail in the future.

hey im full of flaws.
and none of them will every satisfy me.
its life (=


yay, done.

my legs feel dead.
never going to disney this early again -.-
too much walking !
i rather run -.-

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

theres so much i want to tell everyone, but im always going to be afraid.
maybe one day when i move somewhere far far away & wont come back, or if i'll never see/have contact with that person, i'll tell them EVERYTHING i wanted to say but never did.

okay, one more day left and im done.
i just want to get over with this cause its such a fail for me-.-

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

someone that changed my life ?
its not one person though, everyone made a contribution to changing my life.
and it was a good thing. those that didnt make it were left behind, but those that are still in my life is making a huge difference in my life.
san q.


JUNIO12 SCHEDULE;
1. cabase
2. crane
3. davis
4. schaefer
5. tietz
6. auten

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

tricia fu (=
haha, i met you at valerie, ruby, and jami's birsday party !
you are seriously quite the talker, but you are really nice.
you most definitely know how to break the ice !
it was really nice meeting you, hope we would hang out !

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

last pinky promise.
i seriously, honestly, do not remember who i pink promised last.

day 25; the person you know that is going through the worst of times

no specific person can go through the worst time ever because everyone is fighting a battle and is having their ups&downs.

but if i had to say one person, id say you.
cause it can mean anyone.

well five more days of this thing.
such a fail -.-

day 24; the person that gave you your favorite memory

hmmmmmmmmm.
i dont have a favorite memory.
there are too many.
you can never pick out just one memory because they are all too memorable to be specified.

seriously, these posts just gets shorter and shorter -.-

day 23; the last person you kissed

hmm, i dont remember who that is.
oh wells !

my posts get shorter and shorter -___-

day twenty-two; someone you want to give a second chance to

i dont think anyone needs a second chance.
if they did, they would fight for their second chance.

plus theres not much drama/anything/anyone that may need a second chance.
maybe to redo something people regret doing, but it happened for a reason&made who you are today !

day 21; someone you judged by their first impression

lets face it, we ALL judge people by their first impression or even without knowing them.
but we all learn that these perspectives of them change. its just a natural thing we do and we cant help it.
i judged a lot of people too, but eventually they change.

you got your cocky dancers, your no life nerds, your super smart social, the "popular", the hard core druggies, teens that just want to get laid, your smart non asians, your cocky jocks, and so on.

but once you get the know the person they either fall into the category of; they are the person you judged them by or i judged this person and i was completely wrong about them.

but hey, what do you expect?
you just need to get to know the person.

day twenty; the one that broke your heart the hardest

now now, don't think so highly of yourself.

the one that broke my heart the hardest ?
hmm, im honestly not sure.
since talking relationship wise, i had two, but only one was serious.
and i let you keep being a jerk to me too. but you had your moments.
but i wont lie, without you, i wouldnt have been the person i am today.
so thanks for all that you put me through.
you always accused me of cheating and being a slut, but i hope you know i never did.
i never cheated, lied, nor flirted with another boy when i was with you.
but say what you want, cause i know what i did&i was faithful.

but like i said, everything happens for a reason.
and you just made me stronger than ever.

day 19, someone that pesters my mind, good or bad.

no one right now particularly pesters my mind.
only my future&how im not studying SAT, when i should.
good bye.

this letter to yourself/whatever you wanna call it to yourself for 30 days is such a fail xP

day 18; the person you wish you could be

i wish i was a triple threat. i wish i was smart&new what i wanted in life. where i didnt give up so easily. work my butt off til im satisfied. be super flexible, hard working, happier, wouldnt let anything get me thing. focused on school. with nothing to stop me from what i want to do with life. nothing to strain/hold me back because im unable to. someone who doesnt just settle for okay, but works til i get a better.

there is just so much i wish i could be, but im not.
and you know what, thats okay with me.
i'll survive.

day 17; someone from your childhood

dear sharon,
i remember i met you in second grade and after a couple of years, you moved to korea.
i remember when we use to walk to your house and play handball i your living room, haha, good times. i havent contacted you in a while. haha, our moms were good friends too, i remember i called you after you move and we talked for a bit then our moms talked. i remember i heard that you mom was sick, i hope shes doing much better now. i dont know if your still in korea or not, but i do hope you and your family are doing good. i wish i didnt lose contact with you. maybe one day, we'll some how find each other again and we would start catching up. if i ever see you on the streets randomly, i hope we recognize each other. wish you the best !

-michelle

day 16; someone that is not in your state/country

dear dad,
i know you and mom fight a lot, but i question if you two really love each other.
either way, your still my dad and i'll always be your little girl.
lets face it, we ALL know you favor me the most. we can all tell, but i wish you would care about mom&margaret for once. i dont care being forgotten, but at least let them not feel so forgotten either. im sorry i hardly talk to you on the phone or keep you updated about what is going on. i know life back there is tough, you should've just stayed here. either way, we're struggling, we all are, but we're a family and we'll struggle together. you'll be visiting soon, i hope you didn't starve yourself too much. i hope i wont notice it that much, but lets face it, i will notice&i'll die even more inside to know that you are. i love you<3 i hope the day you come home, you stop starving, and mom&you can return comes soon. and when i say soon, i mean NOW.
love you !

daddy's little girl,
-michelle

day 15; someone you miss the most

would it be bad if i said that i dont miss anyone ?
would it be heartless to say that i dont really miss my dad, who i havent seen in a year ?

im not quite sure what missing someone really feels like.
i may say it, but it doesnt mean i honestly do.
i never really attached myself to anyone enough to really understand that it feels like.


i know, im heartless.

day 14 — someone you’ve drifted away from..

but, i've drifted away from a lot of people.

everything happens for a reason. those that i've drifted away from, i am sure are all doing well. eventually sometime in life, those that drifted away from, will make it back into my life. and if they don't, then there are reasons, but im not saying i dont care about them cause i do. im just saying it happens for a reason. wish them the best as life continues on. you know im always going to be here if you ever need someone to talk to !

-michelle

day 13; someone you wish could forgive you

yeah, like holly dong's.
dear future college that will be reading my crap grades, gpa, SAT test scores, and my lame essay.
yeah...have sympathy and just accept me (= i know im probably a fail at your school, but i wont give up that easily. (or maybe i probably will) either ways, im sorry for the fails -_____-"

just accept it. im competing with the other 397492374987239472947923749823 smartasses, but lets face it, not everyone is smart like them and i am definitely not one of them. but what are you going to do ? shun all those people out just cause they dont qualify ? well im sorry but i think thats a stupid system. yet why am i still applying ? oh right, cause every person has their reasons for going to college and whether they are smart or not, they are fighting for something bigger than you would expect.

-michelle

day 12; the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

lettuce see, i dont hate anyone in particular.
caused my a lot of pain ?
well, no one caused me that much of pain.
just made me realized how stupid i was.

like kanye said;
what dont kill me can only make me stronger.

day 11; a deceased person you wish you could talk to

dear grandpa,
i wish i took the advantage of talking to you more when we visited you in taiwan.
now that you are gone, i'm sorry i never took the advantage. but i remember that when we talked or hung out, i always had fun ! now when i go back to visit grandma, it wont be the same anymore...i miss you. but i know you're in a better place now, watching over everyone. i love you<3

-michelle

day ten; someone i dont talk to as much but i would like to..

thas a few people, but i'll let everything just fall into place.

things i wish i can tell people;

i had a crush on you before and i still do but on and off. right now, its off.

thanks for being such a good friend, although we dont talk as much and your off with making sure your future is bright, i hope you know even if you do fall a bit, you'll still be as successful as you wish to be.

you pretend you dont know anything, but deep down, you know what you did. i hope as you grow older, you change that&&understand what you did was wrong. not just me either. and damn it, wheres my apology ?

hi, so how have you been ? we dont talk anymore ! we still need to go to disneyland (=

so what happened to you ? you stopped talking to my sister. i thought you two were best friends. you flake on my sister&&you put your roommates first, but you need to understand that my sister has always been there for you, so how come you arnt there for her ? thats why she stopped putting the effort to be your friend. i hope you have a good birthday.

best friend, i miss you oh so very much, i hope your doing well !

dad, i love you and im sorry i dont talk to you often.

so what happened to you ? we were like really good friends && once high school started, you literally just stopped talking to me. you have new friends, but you dont even bother talking to me.


i hate putting effort into a friend and they dont bother to do the same. it sucks&&its just a waste.